Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Everyone has a story

Everyone has a story

I realize I have been away for some time.  I wrote my first blog post almost four years ago.  But I stopped blogging regularly when I realized I had little to no spare time because I was a new college student in a very intense interior design program.

Four years ago my husband and I had just moved into our dream home. 

 But things happen and sometimes it doesn't go as planned.   What do you do?

You make adjustments.    

You roll with the punches.

You persevere.

You never give up. 

We had options and moved into our vacation home up in the mountains.  Along with those changes I began attending CSU Sacramento State and was accepted into the very competitive interior design program.  

In a few days I begin my last semester and will be graduating in May.
(Can you hear my loud "Woo Hoo"?)

I am a planner.  I have a plan for everything.  One of my life long mantras is

"Always be prepared"

When my kids were little I was the Mom that had food, water, change of clothes, and whatever else I could think of with her at all times.   I could reach into my bag of tricks and solve whatever problem was at hand. (at least that is what I thought)

Not much has changed in that department.  When I started back to college I bought a rolling case so that I could have any and everything I could possibly need with me at all times.   It has come in handy and now many of my fellow students have followed suit
 and have gotten their own rolling case. 

Hey.....I am a trend setter. 

Of course as much as anyone can
"Always be prepared"  life has a way of sneaking up on you and handing you something you could never be prepared for.

On February 25, 2013 I was handed something I could never ever be prepared for. 

I received a phone call no mother ever wants to get. 
 My son had unexpectedly died of a Brain Aneurysm.

I could have written this blog on the one year anniversary of losing my son Brian.   

But that would be expected.

And of course this is my point.  

Don't ever think you can always be prepared.  
Because at some point life will happen and no matter what
you can't be ready for everything.

After losing Brian I wanted to give up.   I just wanted to roll up and disappear.

That thought was pervasive.  I still am making the journey through grief and sadness.

It has been a journey full of twists and turns. A journey filled with happy memories and sad memories. 

I have kept much of my journey private.  It is such a burden and so sad.  
 I have discovered many people just don't know what to say.

I completely understand.

I have been on the other side many times.  I think back to how I have reacted and what I have said.


I met a woman about two years ago.  I was at a garage sale negotiating on some china she had for sale.

I can't explain what happened.   But I had a connection with this woman.  I just wanted to talk to her.

We chatted.  She and her husband had just bought the house.
As we chatted she looked up at me and said
 you know my daughter died 6 months ago in a car accident.  
 She just blurted it out.

I looked at her.   I reached over and grabbed her hand.  I said three things.

I am so sorry.

How are you doing?

Are you taking care of you?

She grabbed both of my hands into hers.  She looked into my eyes with tears.  
 What she said surprised me.

She said 
"You know something.....

You are the first person to ask me how I am doing and if I am taking care of myself."

I spent about a half hour talking with her.   She told me how she was doing.  
She told me about her sadness and her grief.  
We hugged like old friends and I left.

I have never talked to her since that day.  But I wonder why she told me everything she told me. 
She had wise words.  
I can still hear them.

I didn't think about her right after Brian passed.
 In fact it was almost 6 months after Brian's passing before I remembered meeting her.
  I was looking for a platter and opened up my closet where all my china is.

It was like opening up an old journal.
There sitting right smack in the center of the cabinet was the china I had purchased from her.

All her words flowed to me like she was talking to me.  I remember everything she said.
I remember her describing everything she was feeling.

I remembered her saying something though that sticks with me.

She realized she wasn't alone.

She realized she wasn't the first one to experience an enormous loss.

She realized everyone has a story.

Her story wasn't unique.  But it was important.  
Her story has become important to me.

I come across people everyday and as I think to myself I realize they too have a story. 
 I hope they get to tell their story to someone.

We all have a story. 
 Bits and pieces of our lives are important. 
 There is something in your life that can help another person.  

It is this business of Life that is our story.

Even in death I have learned that our story continues.

My sons story continues.

Although his story is now being told by others 
it brings me great comfort.  

I will continue to share my story as time permits.

As I get on with
Business of Life

some things I know for sure is

I will never give up.

I will still try to

Always be prepared


I will listen 

because you have a story that is important, that can teach me and everyone else something


I want to hear it. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This was perfect. Thanks for the touching read :)